Stepping Gracefully...to North Carolina.

I just moved. I put all my belongings in one car and drove to the other side of the United States. And I, like so many who have gone before me, struggled with that move.

And I’m ashamed to admit it. I, who have traveled so often, who have lived cross culturally and learned a new language… I, who was so adamant that this new area of the world was where the Lord was calling me next… I, who was so excited to start again and get a fresh perspective… I struggle.

Texas to North Carolina. Both are considered South (yes, I know that no place is truly like Texas!). Both are spread out, hot, crazy locations. Neither is a foreign culture. English is spoken in both places. Yet, when I arrived, I was hit with a fantastic sense of culture shock.

School zones are at crazy times. There are no street lights on major roads. It takes me 20 minutes to get anywhere exciting. And they have this thing called Texas Pete that is not from Texas at all. Barbecue is different. I’m afraid to try Mexican food. And I am now the proud owner of at least 4 grocery cards…because if not, who can afford groceries?

I’ve been here for almost a month. And I find that meeting people is difficult. Maybe it’s because everyone’s schedule is so crazy. Maybe it’s because I live off campus. Whatever the reason, I was extremely grateful when I finally found a family who would accept my invitation to dinner. And I was overjoyed to find a Texan neighbor experiencing the same Texas withdraws, so we can anguish together. And I’m thankful for roommates and an exam buddy who have made sure that I am properly introduced into society.

I’ve almost completed a month here. In some ways, my life feels tortuously slow. In others, I can't believe it's already been a this long.  For this past month, I felt like I was peddling, but getting nowhere. I hated myself for struggling. I felt like friendships were impossible. I didn’t want to get out because I didn’t know where to go (thank God for coffee shops or my extrovert self might have gone insane). I felt like I was trapped in this fog. I woke up. I studied for a proficiency exam. I read for my PhD program. I went for a walk. I tried out a new grocery store. And I came home.

And then, one day, I walked out of the fog. It wasn’t easy. It was a choice. I said to myself that things had to change. I kept inviting people over (still do). I found a gym. I got a job. And life started to shift forward.

And today, I was reminded why I came. In John 10:4, it says, “When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.” When I decided to follow Jesus, I told him I would follow wherever He led. That means deepest darkest Africa or the tree-lined roads of North Carolina. I follow because I know His voice. And I hope that one day, I will hear that voice say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Culture shock in North Carolina is far from over. I’m sure there will be days when I hate the driving, the grocery stores (send an HEB, quick!!!), and the different gait of life here. But then, by His grace, I will listen to the voice of my shepherd and say, “No turning back.” 

Ode to a Man in a Park

A greasy bag of fish and chips in hand,

A chap makes his way to the storybook tree

Never knowing that today, in the shadow of the tree,

He will have an encounter with Eternity.

The lack of the usual rainy day allows him to consider another way

The sunny noontime beckons him to break his routine,

Enjoy the warmth, savor the moment.

But as he heads out, he has no idea that God plans to meet him today

Who is this man? No one special.

Just a man in a park.

A man in a park who God knows by name

And loves despite the man’s ennui.

He arrives at the park.

Watches the children play as their nanny looks on.

Sees the beautiful flowers

Hears the sound of children’s laughter

Not noticing the storybook tree

Not knowing its story.

Not caring.

Two men are honored by the storybook tree.

Two authors who through stories impacted men’s destinies.

For from the carved book rises timeless figures.

Smaug, a dragon desolated by a hobbit. Aslan, the valiant king lion.

Both authors, both stories give glimpses of eternity.

And this man sits in their shadow,

Never knowing their story.

Never wanting to know their God.

But then, the encounter happens.

A messenger comes.

His faith is questioned

Faith that so long ago he snuffed out

Because what kind of God would let him hurt as he has?

No, he replies, I’ve never seen God,

So why should I believe that he exists?

The messenger gives a reply.

“You cannot see the wind, but you can feel its effects.

You cannot see God, but you can feel His effects.”

Discussion lingers as his lunch time ticks away.

“One must seek God,” he says,

“And I do not have time for that.”

Not realizing that God, the Hound of heaven, is seeking him.

His lunch time finished, he turns to leave.

The wind caresses his cheek.

Eternity beckons.

Yet he walks away, 

Too busy with this life to consider the next.

Just a man in a park

In the shadow of the storybook tree.

Here's to a great three and a half years!

Today, on the eve of graduation, I realize again how blessed I am. I've spent 3 and 1/2 years here in Fort Worth pursuing a Master degree. God has changed my plans multiple times and brought me through seasons of immense blessing and seasons of frustration. There were days when I said to myself, "I'm either going to quit school or cut my hair." Now that I'm at the end, I'm glad I chose to cut my hair. :)

I started this journey with the plan of getting 20 hours needed for a job. However, after studying for a semester, I decided I wanted a degree and Master of Arts seemed the way to go... It was shorter. About a year and a half in, though, I realized that I wanted to do doctoral work...which meant changing to the dreaded MDIV. There were multiple times when I questioned God, asking why I was still here when I could be on the other side of the world in my beloved India. One time, while praying about my future, I realized that God had a reason for me staying in Fort Worth. See, I had some rough edges that needed to be taken care of. I had lessons to learn inside and outside of the classroom.

And learn I did. I learned how to avoid split infinitives and pronouns with no antecedents. I learned how to do a bibliography correctly, analyze books, and argue my point. But more importantly, I learned how sit with a friend while she cried on my shoulder. I learned how to walk away from something painful with my head held high. I learned how to draw near to God when the world outside didn't make sense. I learned how to love people, even when they hurt me. I learned how to encourage and equip others. I became a better writer and in all honesty, a better person.

I've met friends from all over the world. I've been blessed to get to know people at University of Texas at Arlington and to meet international students from all over the world here at my school. I have met folks who have travelled the same paths that I have and their friendships have strengthed me beyond measure. I have had professors who have pushed me towards excellence and met friends who have changed me for good (insert Wicked song here). I am blessed and I am thankful.

So here's to a fantastic three and a half years. Here's to each person who has impacted me and changed me. Here's to my fantastic friends at UTA who have allowed me to live life with them. Here's to my professors who modeled  academic excellence, strength of character, and deep humility. Here's to my coworkers who worked side by side with me while we dealt with immigration issues and enjoyed Bollywood Friday. Here's to church friends who have sharpened me and encouraged me. Here's to crossfit friends who have pushed me beyond what I thought physically possible.

Here's to those close friends who the Lord brought into my life to sharpen me. Those who have walked by my side in the rain and in the sunshine. Those who have allowed me to cry on their shoulders. Those who have listened to my excited, nerdy ramblings and loved me in spite of them.

And here's to whatever is next.

What Hark the Herald Angels Sing means to me.

Have you ever really stopped and thought about the lyrics of our Christmas songs? I mean, really thought about them. I know we’ve sung them a million times. They are as familiar to us at this time of the year as turkey dinner, mistletoe and holiday shopping.

This year, I started thinking about our Christmas story and our Christmas songs.

I read a blog once that talked about Christmas songs being too happy. There is no conflict in Christmas songs, they rallied. It's all happiness and peace and love. 

But here’s the deal. Christmas songs are the beginning victory songs. A baby is born and victory is coming. It hasn’t been won yet, but the end is in sight. The victor has arrived. And that, in and of itself, is cause for celebration.

This year, for some reason, Charles Wesley’s Hark the Herald Angels Sing has captured my attention. Have you looked at the lyrics? Here’s a copy of them:

               Hark! the herald angels sing,

               "Glory to the new born King,

               peace on earth, and mercy mild,

               God and sinners reconciled!"

               Joyful, all ye nations rise,

               join the triumph of the skies;

               with th' angelic host proclaim,

               "Christ is born in Bethlehem!"

               Hark! the herald angels sing,

               "Glory to the new born King!"

Can’t you just see it? Multitudes of angels proclaiming glory to Jesus and declaring that peace on earth has come and God is reconciled to man. Sunday in church, the preacher, Mike Dillard, asked us to consider the term “peace on earth.” This phrase does not mean peace between men, but peace between God and man. Peace between men isn’t going to happen until Jesus comes back and sets the world right. But Jesus’ birth, perfect life, and death on the cross allows for the relationship between God and man, the relationship that was broken because of our sin, to be reconciled. There can be peace between God and man.

And because of this, we can joyfully sing, "Glory to the newborn King!"

               Christ, by highest heaven adored;

               Christ, the everlasting Lord;

               late in time behold him come,

               offspring of a virgin's womb.

               Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;

               hail th' incarnate Deity,

               pleased with us in flesh to dwell,

               Jesus, our Emmanuel.

               Hark! the herald angels sing,

               "Glory to the new born King!"

This Christ, who was from the beginning, who was with God and who is God, he veiled himself in flesh and came to earth. He was born of a virgin. He was fully God and fully man. For some reason, a glorious mystery, he chose to dwell among us. Not to save us from the oppressive government of the time, but to save us from our sins. To give life to dead ones. He is Emmanuel. He is God with us.

And because of this, we can proclaim, "Glory to the newborn King!"

               Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!

               Hail the Sun of Righteousness!

               Light and life to all he brings,

               risen with healing in his wings.

               Mild he lays his glory by,

               born that we no more may die,

               born to raise us from the earth,

               born to give us second birth.

               Hark! the herald angels sing,

               "Glory to the new born King!"

I think this verse pretty much says it all. This baby who came, the one that the angels proclaimed, he is the Prince of Peace…not the peace that the world gives, but the peace that only comes from the Father (John 14:27). This peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7). But he is also the Sun (some versions say Son) of Righteousness. He is righteous, pure, holy…all that we hope to be but fall terribly short of on our own. Yet it is through this Sun of Righteousness that  light and life comes. He says, “I am the light of the world” (John 8:12) He says, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me” (John 14:6)

"Mild, he lays his glory by". “He who being the very nature,  God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very form of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:5-7)

"Born that man no more may die…" He came to give life and and give it abundantly (John 10:10).

"Born to raise the sons of earth. Born to give them second birth." Through the humbling of himself, through his sacrifice, through the fact that he freely gave his life as a ransom for many, we never have to face the second death. We never have to pay the ultimate punishment. It has been paid in full. We are no longer dead in our trespasses, but alive in Christ (Romans 6:11). We are new creations. The old is gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

And because of this, once we choose to follow Jesus, we, like the angels, cry, “Glory to the newborn King!”

lyrics from http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh240.sht

Christmas in Central Texas!

With the very real possibility that I will be far, far away next Christmas, I thought it only fitting to take a moment and jot down why Christmas in central Texas is so special.

1. Caroling on a clear night beneath the huge, starry Texas sky. Singing favorite Christmas songs while filling neighbors and friends' evening with a surprise blessing.
2. Speed scrabble with the family.
3. Long walks on crisp winter evenings with mom and dad.
4. Mexican food for Christmas Eve.
5. Greenburg smoked turkey from Tyler, TX (complete with leftover turkey and swiss sandwiches AND, if I'm lucky, some turkey leftovers to take back to north Texas with me)
6. LOTS of skyping with friends and family all over the world. :D (BTW, this tradition will most likely continue... I'll just be one of the ones skyped in....)
7. Watching some new action movie with  my brother in theaters...sometimes, we even watch two...
8. Going through the must-see Christmas movie list- While You Were Sleeping, It's a Wonderful Life, and usually either The Grinch or A Christmas Carol.
9. Last minute Christmas shopping with my brother.
10. The simple Christmas Eve candlelight service (complete with a little girl yelling, "Yay!!!" after we sang Oh, Come All Ye Faithful)
11. Reading the Christmas story before we open presents.
12. Inviting our friend from Morocco to join us for Christmas lunch.

I am blessed.  

Surviving the Icepocalypse

For those of you who didn’t hear, Fort Worth was completely shut down when a freak ice storm by the name of Cleon came rumbling through. In 24 hours, it went from 80s to 20s with precipitation all night long. We woke up to a wintry wonderland…minus the snow. What looked like snow was actually ice and sleet that made the roads impassible and even the usually 10 minute walk to the campus nearly impossible.

It didn’t end there, though. During the day, the ice and sleet would sort of melt and then refreeze that night, making it slicker and more treacherous the next day. This lasted Friday-Sunday. Schools cancelled Friday. Many things didn’t open Saturday. All church activities were cancelled on Sunday. Monday, we carefully went back to work and school, watching for ice patches and thankful for our landscaping crew that salted the sidewalks and cleared walking paths for us.

What did I learn through all of this?

1.  When you find ice skates on sale, buy them! You never know when it will go from 80s to an ice skating rink around your apartment in 24 hours.
2. All Texans should learn to walk like penguins. That would help tremendously.
3. New vocabulary words! Who knew that words like freezing fog and cobblestone ice existed? Even if we knew they existed, who knew what they meant??? Ready for the next time I take my GRE test.
4. Making cider from apples takes a long time...and the cheese cloth is definitely needed. 
5. Sun is good. The sun came out for three hours on Sunday and it seemed like the heavens had opened and the Lord was smiling down on us! 
6. Sometimes, those fun moments with friends, those memories, are worth the fact that you are stuck where you are for days. Sometimes, the break from life makes the ice and the cold worth it. 
7. God is good. He paints a beautiful picture when he fills the trees with snow and the pathways with ice. It is a blessing that Texas doesn't get to experience often.

Was it frustrating? It some ways, yes. Was it craziness for those who had to be at work? Definitely! Did it cause some problems? Yep. But even in a crazy, freak ice storm, it's good to take a moment to enjoy the small things. Pictures, cider, decorating Christmas trees, trekking through the snow, cups of hot cocoa, a good book...oh, and studying for finals...

A Clean Floor

You can normally tell how stressed I am by how messy my room is. You know it's really bad if the living room is cluttered, too. Because, you see, I can close my bedroom door and no one is the wiser. They don't see the crazy mess that is threatening to engulf me in my room. And it's usually in my most stressed time that I stare at the mess in my room, feel incredibly overwhelmed, and break down and have a cleaning marathon. 

This occurred in my life this weekend. I had cleaned the living room and the bathroom...but my room...that was another story. So, on Saturday, I decided it was time to clean. I stuck in my Castle DVD and played two episodes while I cleaned my bathroom and my room. 

And I went to bed feeling like I had accomplished something. 

The next day, I got up and got ready for church and as I was walking through the living room, I heard, CRASH! and froze. I turned towards my room, praying that the people above me had just dropped something that had sounded much worse below them. But as I walked, I heard CRASH, BANG!!!! 

I ran into my room to find that the rod in my closet had come off....shelf and all. My clothes and anything I had stored on the top shelf were thrown every which way. So, I began to clear out the closet. After an hour or so of spring cleaning, closet was emptied (well...as much as it needed to be!) My shoes lined the bathroom. My clothing was stacked in the corner. My boxes and bags were placed where ever there was room. 

But at least my floor was clean. :) 

(Happy to report that our maintenance department is AMAZING and my closet has already been fixed and things are returning to normal in my room)